Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
