he thought i was a dude.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
