Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
