Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Randomize
