I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
