oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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