Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Randomize
