Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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