all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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