I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
