Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
