i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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