I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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