I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
