Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
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