Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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