It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Randomize
