are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
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