Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
no you cant smoke seaweed
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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