school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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