Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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