Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Randomize
