I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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