So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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