I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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