Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
