Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
