Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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