I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
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