i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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