Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
