I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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