oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
