Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
