i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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