I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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