I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
