I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
