wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
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