i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
If you hit me with your dick and make light saber noises we are breaking up. I don't care if it's your birthday, you are not a sex Jedi.
So is singing the star wars theme as I put the condom on off limits?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Randomize
