You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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