STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
