we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Randomize
