dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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