dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Randomize
