it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I touched a dick in church today
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
