I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
