I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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