you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
