So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
