I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
