I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
try to milk me bitch
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