Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Please don't give away my fajitas
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
