atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
