dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
