i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
