no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
