I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
